so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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