I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
