You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
