i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
