just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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