He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
