Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
