The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
