i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
