3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
