Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
