I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
