PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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