I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
