just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
