my mouth tastes like poor choices
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
