were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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