OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
