It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
