yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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