Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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