i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Someone signed my nipple.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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