Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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