I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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