God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I cut my penus on the lid.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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