I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
someone owes me an orgasm
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
