so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
