Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
