I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
