I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
