CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
