youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
