We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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