like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I need to stop coming to work sober
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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