Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
