party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was a blind-side dick pic.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
