I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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