The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
