Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
