tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
