Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
