do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
