dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
