i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
