from now on my penis is your penis
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
