When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
