Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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