But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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