Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
