Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
