I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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