State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
