just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Your cock deserves a montage
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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