just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
