He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
