do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize