when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I AM VODKA MAN
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
