Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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