I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
