It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
