the day after is always just damage control
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
