Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
