His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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