I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
