He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
